My Thoughts on the Master/slave relationship, and the Lifestyle in General.

I believe that the Master/slave relationship and its well-being to be the primary goal to a successful life as Master and slave.. It should be the primary focus for both partners and they should do whatever it takes to make that relationship as strong as possible and allow it to grow and get stronger forever.. Affection, knowledge and effective communication between both partners are the keys to making that happen.

As an analogy, I often equate the Master/Slave relationship to an ocean going ship, with a Captain and crew.  The ship is viewed as the relationship and must be maintained by all who sail aboard her. The ship must be kept on a steady course for the duration of its passage and kept safe from any peril. The Captain (Master) is ultimatly responsible for the ship and its well-being.. The crew (slave) is responsible to the Captain, and must follow the commands and orders given by him.  While each has their own responsibilities, the primary goal is the well-being of the ship, keeping it on course and safe. This is also true to the Master/slave relationship.. It, and it's well being is the primary goal of the Master and slave forever.

On the other side, I do not believe that the Master/slave relationship is a relationship that is governed by committee. I believe that the relationship is a dictatorship and not a democracy. While I would encourage a slave to have ideas and opinions and would require her to share them with me as part of the effective means of communication between us, it should be well accepted that any decisions that are to be made are the Masters sole responsibility and shall be followed without exception or comment. The responsibility for the relationship as a whole, as in the analogy above, rests with the Master and that should not be subject to negotiation.

A Master has many responsibilities in the Master/slave relationship. As previously discussed, he is responsible for the relationship itself. He is also completely responsible for the slave and her happiness, health and overall well-being, in addition to her knowledge, education and growth. He is responsible for all decision making processes that go on in the relationship. He is responsible for planning and implementing the lives of both himself and the slave and guiding those lives in the proper direction. He is responsible for all financial and legal matters that affect the lives of both. In short he is indeed the Captain of the ship.

A slave also has responsibilities in the Master/slave relationship. Her primary responsibility is to obey the commands and orders she’s given and perform them to the best of her ability, but she also has many others as well. She has the responsibility to keep herself healthy and well groomed. She has the responsibility to communicate all feelings and emotions to her Master so he can consider them and act on them accordingly. She has the responsibility to learn what is taught to her quickly and thoroughly and not regress from that teaching, but in fact, make it part of her being. She is also responsible for her Master and his contentment. Most of all however, she is responsible to the relationship and its continual growth and well-being.

Anger In a Master/slave Relationship

One of the things that I don’t believe in is expressing Anger in the lifestyle.. I don’t believe that anger has any place in the lifestyle what-so-ever..  While everyone gets angry at some point over various things that happen in life, it should not enter into the realm of the Master/slave relationship.. This is explained to the slave up front at the beginning of the relationship.. If she's upset or angry about something, whether it be relating to us or relating to other sources or actions, she simply has to come to me and communicate her feelings before they become a negative influence.. While there are many reasons for anger in one’s self, the primary reason is dissatisfaction of something that we believe should be different or doesn’t meet with our approval. In general, it is a emotion that is not conducive to the well being of the relationship or even one’s self..  As a Master, it is my responsibility to help my slave keep a happy and pleasing frame of mind. It is also in my best interests for her to be so as well, and why I have put in the mechanism for her to prevent that emotion from entering into our relationship as often as possible..  While I fully understand this will take time to instill in her I do believe it is in our best interest to do so..  As I've explained in a previous blog, I believe the relationship itself, its well being and growth, are the primary goal in the Master/slave relationship, I also believe that anger, left unchecked, can tear the relationship down faster than any other emotion. It is my responsibility to keep the relationship healthy and happy. That also means that I must control my own anger as well should it appear. While I don’t tend to get angry too often, like everyone else it creeps into me as well.. I am often angry at myself for making/doing stupid things. While I'm admittedly far from perfect, I try to do things properly and sometimes get angry at myself when I don’t. We're all human. Should I get angry it is my responsibility to communicate that with my slave as well, so she understands why and can either help or at least not misunderstand the emotion in me and blame herself for something I did.. I would like to think that if the time ever comes that something she says or does has the potential for creating anger in me, that I will talk with her about it and hopefully get it resolved before it becomes an issue for us.. In short, I believe that good communication is the key to a healthy and happy relationship and by far the best answer to the prevention/control of anger within it..

My Views on Traditional Japanese Lifestyle

While I don’t pretend to be a student of traditional Japanese lifestyles I do know enough to have formed some opinions on it and how it relates to the Master/slave relationship.  I find the two similar in many respects in the way they exist. The man is the Only head of the household, or Master if you will, and the family forms a hierarchy below him.  If there are sons present they follow the Master when they are age appropriate and are trained to do so. Women come after sons and become the "slaves" of the household, although very important parts of it as well. The wife of the Master comes first in that hierarchy followed by the daughters. While traditional Japanese culture tended to be very extreme compared to today’s standards it also held a significant message to the way I believe a Master/slave relationship should be managed..  I believe that hierarchy should be in place and followed to a degree.. There is a reason that traditional Japanese lifestyle lasted successfully for almost 900 years before it started to become more westernized, and that’s simply because it worked well.. Masters were devoted to their families and their families were devoted to their Master without exception.  It was simply the way things were.. The wife while thought to take the position of the main slave in the family and performed in a true dedicated and slave-like manner was also a prized possession of the Master of the house. She was responsible for all things regarding the house, children and family matters, and she did so to her Masters expectations and without question. It is how I believe a Master/slave relationship should work as well to a great degree.. While in today’s world it can not and should not be anywhere near as extreme, I believe it can serve as the basis for a proper Master/slave relationship that runs as I believe it should.  There is a very distinct dicipline, respect, dedication and devotion in the traditional Japanese lifestyle that goes both ways, and I belive those things should exist in a Master/slave relationship as well and, in fact, are necessary for the relationship to grow properly.

Thoughts on Slave Training..

As a lifestyle educator and trainer of slaves, I’ve had the pleasure of training a number of slaves over time. Part of this related to my training as I was gaining experience for my teaching credential at a club I once belonged to, while a few others were being trained by request to gain experience as a slave within the lifestyle.. I've also trained other slaves for my personal use as well over time, and in all honesty, I've had moderate success with all of this.. While I’ve never claimed to be a true expert at slave training, I do have more than enough experience and success to have formed some very valid opinions on the process and feel I should document them here..  First, my beliefs about what the slave should be to start training.  The slave should be in good health, both physically and mentally. The slave should have a true willingness and desire to become a slave, or the training goes for naught.  Above all else, the slave must have the capacity and desire to willingly submit to training, but also become owned property at the end as a slave should be.

Being a slave is not a natural thing to a person. From birth we are taught to think for ourselves, protect ourselves, and be independent for adult life. These things of course are counterproductive during slave training and need to be strictly controlled, but not eradicated, as they will be needed, at least in part, later on to be a good and productive slave for a Master. I do not hold with the belief that a slave needs to be “broken” before she can be used, as a broken slave becomes un-useful to a Master for the most part and in most forms.  It is my belief that a slave should have worth to a Master and contribute to the well-being of the Master/slave relationship, because if she doesn’t have these traits then she becomes a burden not an asset to the relationship.

As far as training itself goes, I believe it should be a slow process that evolves over time and not a “cram course” that is shoved down a slave’s throat and told to swallow.  There must be motivation for the slave to learn and a desire to keep learning, and that motivation takes on the form of affection between the two. The slave accepts her training because she knows it’s her Master’s wish for her to learn the things she needs for the relationship to succeed and grow. The training should also be beneficial to the slave as she should grow as a person during the training process as well.  I believe that the training process should be at it’s most controlling to begin with and gradually diminish as the process continues and the slave learns what’s expected of her and gains experience over time and not the other way around.  It’s been my experience that if one starts slow and works up that it leads to negative feelings and not positive ones, and of course that’s counterproductive to the process as well.  If it starts hard and gets easier, then with each process the slave sees and understands the progress she’s making and is eager to continue the training, and many times seeks additional training as well. The more a slave is taught the more beneficial she becomes to the Master and the relationship.

I’ve also learned that there are times to suspend training.  Sickness of the Master or slave, are the first reasons for suspension.  No training should exist for a slave that is not well enough or healthy enough to accept the training, nor should a Master teach if he is sick in one way or another as he cannot fully concentrate on the training process either.  If Illness persists over time then one has to look at the cause and make adjustments. If the illness is severe enough or of long enough duration, then training should be abandoned and alternative relationship processes should be considered. Both the Master and slave must be generally well for training to be effective.  Another time to suspend training is if a catastrophic event happens to either the Master or the slave. Catastrophic events tend to remove all possible levels of concentration for one or both in the relationship and when that happens, no effective training can proceed.  Accidents during training: While every good trainer wants to be careful in everything that’s done, accidents sometimes happen. It’s inevitable. When an accident does happen, the Master should suspend the training until the accident can be rectified and discussed between the Master and slave, however long that might take.  If there is healing that must occur, then training is suspended or taken in a different direction until the healing process is complete and the slave is ready to continue.

As a final note to a much longer blog than planned, some words about safety during training.  While we all try to be safe during play, I’ve found that the level of safety during training should be at the highest possible level without exception. While accidents do happen from time to time safety should be of prime importance and be right next to obedience during training.  If a slave is told to “be still” during training and she moves then accidents can occur. Likewise if a Master makes a misjudgment during training accidents can also occur. It needs to be instilled that safety is one of the primary tools for successful training and should never ever be compromised, under any circumstance by either Master or slave.

My Thoughts on Control

I have some very basic philosophies about how a slave should be controlled..  While I dont try to be a Master that is overbearing, I do believe in strict and evenly applied control over all matters..  This is especially true during the training phase of a relationship but will follow on after training as well. While I do allow a certain amount of freedom in some areas to maintain a pleasant environment and living situation, most all areas of life and the relationship are controlled and are done so for the well-being and the growth of the relationship. The control of the slave relieves her of the responsibility of decision making and allows her to focus on those things that need to be accomplished, be that in work or play..  It is the Masters responsibility to make rules and control the slave, while it is the slaves responsibility to follow the rules and orders given to her to the very best of her ability. While both the Master and slave each have their own responsibility they are complimentary to each other and also the strength, growth and well-being of the relationship..

My Thoughts on Master/slave Contracts.

While I believe that a Master/slave relationship can exist fine without a written contract and does so in many cases, it is my opinion that they are beneficial to the relationship and should be formally signed and put in place.  A contract can be as simple or as complicated as seen fit, but I believe that they should define the basic rules that govern the relationship together and should adhered to and enforced.  That is not to say that the contract need to be written on stone tablets to forever more be unchanged though. I believe they should be reviewed periodically for performance however often it is deemed necessary and revised to reflect the evolution of the relationship and the lives of the Master and slave within it, and then formally re-signed until the next revision takes place. I believe that the contract should specifically define the day to day responsibilities of both the Master and slave in a general sense so those things don’t have to be continually reviewed and reinforced or perhaps lost or unenforced. The contract in this case, while it does not have to be all encompassing, should take on the form of the basic Bible of the Master/slave relationship in a general sense and should be followed accordingly. I also believe that the contract should contain specific goals and milestones for the relationship to give the relationship a direction to be followed and goals and objectives to be attained. While many may disagree with this, I believe that having a contract in place becomes an essential part of the relationship and makes it more stable for both Master and slave.

Cafeteria Style Master/slave Relationships

While it is my intent to keep this blog on a positive note, I also believe that other issues should be addressed as well. One of those issues is what I call cafeteria style Master/slave relationships.  That being a relationship that is comprised of negotiated terms and conditions initiated by the slave. In essence, a relationship of “I don’t like this” or “I don’t want to do that” or “I don’t think this should be done this way or that” or any of a hundred other permutations. I believe it is the Master’s responsibility to define the relationship, define the structure of what is to be done and how it is to be done and to enforce those principles without compromise or negotiation. I believe that, once again, the relationship is not a democracy, but a dictatorship and should be treated as such. While dictators have advisors and those who assist him, so it should be in the Master/slave relationship. The final decision on any matter and at any time however, must rest with the Master and the Master alone, and should always be FINAL. For, if not, then the Master/slave relationship ceases to be meaningful and is ultimately destroyed.   

A Slave's Worth.

I believe that a slave should have worth and value in the relationship. Not to simply do chores or tasks but to have true worth to her Master and to the Master/slave relationship. How is this accomplished? I believe that worth like respect evolves over time and also grows over time. It should be one of the primary goals of the slave to make herself a valuable asset to her Master and the relationship. She should contribute in any and all ways possible and allowed to achieve that goal. It should be the Masters responsibility to allow and foster that worth to grow as well and to recognize that worth to the slave on a regular basis. A slave is tasked to do many things on a daily, or weekly  basis that relieve the mundane tasks from the Master so he may concentrate his efforts in a more productive manner. A slave is also tasked with the responsibility of caring for not only the Master but any children that become part of the relationship as well. She is tasked with caring for the living environment and in most cases preparing and serving the food as well.  The slave is also tasked with keeping herself healthy, well groomed and attractive so that her Master can and should be proud to own her.  All of these tasks and more contribute to the worth of the slave in the Master’s eyes.  I believe that a slave should become a Master’s most treasured possession, and to be regarded as such for all time.

A Slave's Dependence on Her Master

I am of the belief that a slave should be totally dependent on her Master for anything and everything within the Master/slave relationship. While there are people who would argue to the contrary, I think that it only makes sense for this to exist.  A slave that is or becomes independent is no longer being controlled from my viewpoint and while it may be allowable in some situations, I am one who believes that a slave should be totally controlled but not completely micromanaged. If I assign a slave a task I believe she should be able to carry out that task by herself. If there are things that she is unable to or is unsure of in the task assigned then it is her responsibility to come to me and advise me of the inability and allow me to provide a solution to the problem. This is part of good communication between Master and slave.  Yes, this does take time and devotion to accomplish this but it is my belief that this time and devotion is a worthwhile investment in the relationship and should be provided to the slave when and where needed. This dependence does not indicate that the slave is weak or un-capable of thought or has no worth, to me, it simply is a proper form of control and guidance for the slave and insures that the task that’s been assigned gets accomplished properly and in the manner that the Master intended. It is my belief that if a slave is totally dependent on her Master then she can be properly guided, cared for and be a valuable asset to her Master.

Effective Communications Between Master and slave

It is my belief that a very high level of communication should exist between Master and slave. In this day and age of instant communication, there should be very few instances where communication between the two would not be possible, either in person, or by electronic means. (i.e., cell phone, texting, instant messaging, or email.) I believe that good and frequent communication between the Master and slave is an essential part of managing the relationship for the Master but also getting feedback from the slave in order to make informed decisions that can affect the relationship in one way or another. Speaking for myself, I have never been one to have the ability to read minds or look into the future. I work in the present and depend on information to make proper and informed decisions. I expect my slave to communicate her thoughts and feelings and that those thoughts and feelings are used by me to help me make informed and  proper decisions for the both of us. While it is my responsibility to make those decisions, the more information I have beforehand the better and more appropriate my decisions can be. Good, clear and concise communications can also help prevent misunderstandings between Master and slave.  If I assign a task and the task is not clear to the slave then it is the slave’s responsibility to tell me that her instructions are not clear to her and in what areas the instructions need to be explained. This, to me, insures that the task that’s been assigned will get done properly and the way I intend it to get done. It also means that the slave does not have to interpret what has been assigned to her but can go and perform the task without questions or problems. It is also the slave’s responsibility to ask questions in the proper way. If she needs information in an area or on a topic, she needs to ask clearly and concisely about the topic and not “beat around the bush” as it were. While I understand that learning this type of thing takes time, trust and being introspective, I believe that this is a very worthwhile endeavor and should be an essential part of the training of any slave.

I also believe that a slave should learn to be introspective about her emotions and feelings and learn to communicate them to her Master as well. This, to me, is another very important part of the Master/slave relationship. I, as a Master cannot read minds or feel the emotions of a slave. It is her responsibility to look into herself and analyze her feelings and emotions, be those feelings or emotions good or bad, and communicate those feelings. While it is understood that this skill does not come easy, as we all tend to keep our emotions to ourselves for the most part, I believe that working together and training can make this skill an important part of the relationship and make it work much better as a whole. I also believe that this is a two way street. As a Master, it is also my responsibility to communicate my emotions to my slave so that she understands what I’m feeling as well and doesn’t misinterpret my feelings as something that they are not.  As an example, if I should become angry at myself for something I did or a decision I made, it’s my responsibility to explain that anger to my slave so she understands that I’m not angry with her for something she’s done. It’s also my responsibility to express my emotions and feelings toward her as well, just as it’s her responsibility to express hers to me. I believe these things to be one of the most important parts of a strong Master/slave relationship and should be learned and followed always.

My Thoughts on a Slave's Being

This is a blog on the things that normally belong to a person before she makes the commitment to become a truly owned slave. Once she makes that commitment those things, like many others transfer to the ownership of the Master and no longer become the property of the slave. While it is understood that the transfer of ownership of these items does not come easy to a slave, these and many other things that were once thought to be "rights" now become privilege and become part of the training process and take time to instill in the slave.

A Slaves Time

In my opinion, a slave’s time belongs to her Master. Her time no longer belongs to her. Her time is not her own to do with as she pleases. She starts her day and does what her Master orders and expects her to do. If she works outside the home, she is expected to call her Master upon arriving at the work place, at least once during the lunch break and when she leaves the work place to come home. If she must stop on the way home to run errands she must call or text at each stop and advise her Master of her progress and safety. When she arrives home she is to proceed to her Masters side and await further instructions. Her time belongs solely to her Master. When she eats, sleeps, does chores, performs other assigned tasks, all those things are under the control of her Master. If there is leisure time to be had, it is given at the Masters discretion and as a privilege not a right. When she is called to her Master’s side, she goes, no matter what she was doing. Her time is never considered to be her own regardless of what, where or when.

A Slaves Body.

I believe that a slave’s body also belongs to her Master.  She is instructed how to wear her hair, what to eat and when, how and when to use makeup, when she is allowed to be clothed and in what clothing, How to care for her body, skin, nails etc. She may be examined at will by her Master at any time he chooses. She is denied access to her own body for her own pleasure. She may not masturbate, climax or have any other sexual stimulation without permission from her Master. She has sex only when it is allowed by her Master. She must bear whatever pain her Master inflicts on her. She has no right to say no to the use of her body. If the slave does not feel well for one reason or another she must ask her Master for permission to remedy the situation, and only then is she allowed to take medication or other means to rectify the illness. In all matters concerning the slave’s body, she must realize that her body belongs to her Master solely and completely and only he has the responsibility to manage it properly.

A Slaves Privacy.

I believe that as a Master owns his slaves time and body he also totally owns and controls her privacy. There is no private time given to a slave. While I may allow her private time as a privilege, that does not mean I dont have access to her or her actions during that time should I desire it. I also don't want my slave trying to think or figure things out on her own during private time. I want her to come to me to do those things not try to keep them to herself. Even her thoughts become my property. There is also no hiding things or actions from her Master. All things are the property of her Master including those things that she used to regard as private things, including personal hygiene and all other items she feels, thinks or does. No doors are to be closed or items hid behind in an attempt to gain privacy. No secrets are to be kept from her Master.  Any privacy allowed, is given as a privilege from her Master and is only for the duration of one instance not a standing order. A slave must learn and realize fully that she is her Master’s property, in total, and that includes everything inside her, including her thoughts and feelings, outside her, her body and space, and the very essence of her existence. When the slave fully realizes these things, then she is a truly owned slave.

My Thoughts on Trust in the Master/slave Relationship

While I believe that true trust is something acquired over time with experience and exposure, there also needs to be a beginning point or level of trust between the two before the relationship can begin properly. The Master must trust the slave enough and the slave must trust the Master enough for the training efforts to be effective and meaningful. If that trust doesn’t exist between the two at the beginning of the relationship, then effective training becomes an effort to accomplish due to trust issues that develop with each skill being taught. How that initial trust is gained becomes another issue. It seems to be different with everyone. There are some who don’t seem to have trust issues while others hover under them like a shield. I believe that each new relationship should be initially taken at face value with regards to trust. While past history of relationships can be an educational tool, I don’t believe that it should be used as a template for all new relationships. It’s been my experience that trying to do so ultimately leads to unresolved suspicion and in many cases failure of the relationship to seriously begin. In my opinion, the new person in the new relationship should not have to carry the burden of the history of other failed relationships, or is he/she responsible for that history. I believe that each new relationship should stand on its own merits and be judged accordingly with regard to trust issues, for if not, then the new relationship will ultimately be filled with mistrust and suspicion at most every turn. Much time, energy and perhaps even money might be spent trying to justify ones merits, and as a result, the relationship may never become realistic or meaningful and may, in fact fail as a result. While it’s nice to believe that past history equates to “lessons learned”, and in many cases justifiably so, using those lessons and applying them to a current relationship is not justifiable, as no two people are the same. You can’t compare oranges with oranges that way either.  I believe that both Master and slave should, at the beginning of a desired relationship, “wipe the slate clean” and start anew, learning and enjoying each other and letting trust build over time with experience.

My Thoughts on Learning About your Slave

I believe that is a Master’s responsibility to learn everything there is to know about his slave and her history in time. Only then can he be fully prepared to control and manage his slave to the best of his ability. The knowledge he gains about his slave will help him make important decisions about how he and his slave should interact together and how best to control and manage his slave. Learning about another person is not an easy thing to accomplish. Often, time distorts ones prospective of history, other times things are too painful to remember accurately, if at all. The human mind has the ability to forget/hide or block out traumatic events that have happened in one’s life, and it may be those very events that need to be re-discovered or learned to make them beneficial to the Master and his slave. Even general history becomes an important asset with learning about one’s slave, for it is the history of her life that has formed her being as well as her prospective on most all things. The more the Master knows about his slave’s history the better it will be for both parties. Even things such as daily routines from childhood, or experiences during the formative years of growth become very good insights into how the slave thinks and experiences life. For instance, if a slave has had a submissive personality all of her life, she may have been subject to mistreatment by siblings, family members, schoolmates or friends. Conversely, her submissive personality may have been a very productive and satisfying part of her life, giving to and helping others is often a very satisfying part of a submissive person.  Those are typical of the things that need to be learned by the Master to give him better insight into his slave. I believe that the bulk of the learning process should take place as soon as its reasonable and agreeable to do so, as the more information the Master has about his slave the better the training can be tailored to suit her individual needs and requirements. However, a slave may be more comfortable talking about more intimate things over time and as a greater level of mutual trust is built. She should not be forced into a situation of revealing “all” without that mutual trust being present.  A slave’s viewpoints and emotions are also very important things to be learned and considered by a Master. These things also take time to learn and be talked about. Emotions are not normally something that people reveal about themselves to others. They are perceived as “personal” and private things. These however need to be explored and revealed as well in order for the Master to understand the “workings” of his slave. The slave should recognize this and understand it’s necessary for her Master to know these things, in order for him to interact appropriately with her and to properly control all the situations that they might encounter over time. While it is possible for a Master to learn some/many of these things by interaction, exposure and experience, I believe that it is much better to devote the necessary amount of time to this learning process, and as a result, make the relationship that much stronger and the Master and slave closer together.

Meaningful Things I've Learned Over Time

Much of the thoughts in this blog were handed down to me from one of my 7 mentors almost 26 years ago now, and while I've reworded a few of them over time they have always served me well and also other Masters that I've mentored. After over 3 years of training and being bound by oath to teach others in the lifestyle I have found that these thoughts have always been a good foundation to build on. It is my sincere hope that it serves others here well also..

• The slave’s safety will always be of top priority to a wise Dominant, both physically and emotionally.

•  Always have and respect a slave’s safe word and never put her in a position to be afraid to use it.

•  Just as slavery is a gift to be treasured, Domination is a talent to be mastered so be educated and experienced at dominating before you take on the responsibility of another's life.

• Don't be too arrogant to be able to listen and understand your slave’s viewpoints and needs. You might just learn something from them. After all communication is the foundation of a strong Master/slave relationship and can not be obtained if it is all one sided.

• Never punish your slave by withholding your affection, this is emotional blackmail.

• Know the difference between punishment and dicipline before you apply either to your slave, and use them properly and only when necessary as they are both tools to be used wisely.
• Provide guidance and support when needed and stay tuned in to your slave’s emotions. In return you will gain a slave that is eager to please and serve you because they feel of value.

• Provide your slave with rules and guidelines to stay within and when the slave steps out of those guidelines, consistantly apply discipline or punishment as necessary.

• Understand that just as a Dominant must learn to trust his slave, so must a Dominant earn the trust of his slave. This does not undermine your control but strengthens it.

• Enjoy and use what is offered to you with kindness, harshness, pain and pleasure and have the wisdom to know when to use each one.

• Never be too full of pride or blinded by your own "power trip" to admit when you have made a mistake and to even say "I'm sorry".  Just as no slave is perfect for their Dominant 24 hours a day; no Dominant is perfect either.

• Don't be afraid to extend trust. Just as you prove that you are trustworthy when the slave trusts you, so you can only develop your slave’s trustworthiness by being willing to extend trust.

• Teach, train and nurture your slave. The more the slave knows and can do, the more valuable your slave is to herself as a person, and the more valuable her slavery to you will become to you both. It is more satisfying to have a strong person trust you by yielding control than to have control over a person who is a "doormat."

My Thoughts on Teamwork in the Master/slave Relationship

I believe that in any good relationship there has to be a teamwork dynamic established in order for the relationship to work to its greatest extent. While I’m not a fan of divided responsibility in the teamwork process, I am a fan of having clearly defined jobs/tasks and responsibilities set out and each doing his/her best to accomplish those tasks for the benefit of each other and the relationship as a whole. As the Master, it is my responsibility to define the tasks that exist in the relationship and who should be doing them and how. It is the slave’s responsibility to perform the tasks assigned to her to the best of her ability and in the time designated to get the tasks accomplished. While I expect to participate in tasks when needed, or assist my slave when the task is outside of her physical limitations, that does not excuse her of accomplishing those tasks as assigned. I view that participation as part of the “team effort” to get the necessary tasks accomplished and that benefits the two of us and the relationship as a whole. One of the things I try to be is a very organized person. From my upbringing at home to the time I spent in the Navy, I learned that everything should have a place and everything should be in that place. This saves confusion and time trying to “find” things or accomplish other tasks that need to be done. As part of a team effort, I expect my slave to follow that pattern of organization and thus further strengthen the relationship by eliminating a disorganized situation that might affect it. By learning where things go and keeping them in their place together as a team we make our lives simpler, less confusing, and much more organized. While I understand there is a learning curve for a slave to become proficient at this, I also expect that she will put in her due diligence to learn and understand where things go and why, so her thought processes become automatic about organization as well.  Overall there are many tasks to accomplish during the course of daily life and these tasks need to be accomplished in an efficient, timely manner and in a teamwork fashion in order to maintain a well functioning existence.

My Thoughts on Permission and Control

I believe, and practice a relationship of almost total control using permission to do most everything.  I do this in part, to free the slave from decision making or her making assumptions about things that I want her to do, but also to help me manage her time and actions better and more effectively. This type of control relieves me of the burden of wondering about what she is doing at any given time or why or where she is doing it. This control also allows me to better plan the use of not only her time but my own as well. I believe that my slave should ask permission for most everything in her life, from getting up in the morning, to leaving my side or the room, to going to the bathroom, to preparing a 4 course meal or redecorating the house, to going to bed at night. In short, I really want my slave to ask permission for everything that she does where at all practical. I want her to ask permission to leave the house, communicate to me that she has arrived at her destination, advise me when she leaves that destination and is returning to the house. This also relieves me of worrying about my slave’s safety, as I know where she is at all times and know that I could get to her for help should the need arise. I believe that should apply to her spending money as well. I believe that she should ask permission to spend money on anything she purchases, no matter how small, before the fact, not after. As the handling of money is the Masters responsibility it seems only logical that this type of control is in place as well. It also makes money more meaningful to the slave and her worth. Purchasing things necessary or optional for a slave should be viewed as an earned privilege and not something to be done at will. While in most all circumstances my answers to her will be “yes” to her permission requests, I’m not opposed to saying “no” when the need arises either or perhaps “in a few minutes” depending on the situation and  my desires for my slave’s actions. I also believe that this type of control makes the slave more dependent on the Master and as a result, that the Master/slave dynamic benefits from this dependency. I do however believe that there are few but certain circumstances where a slave must have the ability to think for herself without permissions or controls. This is especially true where health or safety issues are concerned and she is away from my control or unable to communicate. She should however, time and circumstances permitting, put every thought or action through a simple evaluation process that asks the question, would this be the way Master would want it? If so, then proceed accordingly if not change the course of action if possible.

While this level of control may seem overkill to some, or take too much effort or time to accomplish effectively, I truly believe that this type of control is beneficial to the relationship as a whole, should be practiced at all times, and is worth every ounce of effort and time the control requires.

My Thoughts on a slave’s Interactions

I believe that it is beneficial for a slave to have a certain amount of freedom with how she interacts with her Master. While I don’t try to encourage negative interactions, I do believe those are sometimes necessary to relieve those emotions from a slave. There has to be a release mechanism in place for a slave to release pent up emotions that is not destructive to her, me or the relationship, and I am that place for my slave. I want her to come to me and release those emotions she has before they become a negative influence on the relationship. Whether she needs to cry or be angry or rant at something in a non-destructive way or whatever her emotions may be at the moment I expect her to come to me to communicate those emotions and not let them stay pent up where than can cause damage.  I also want my slave to be one that’s needy and dependent on me for all things. While it is my responsibility to keep her safe and protected, it’s also my responsibility to keep her properly fed, watch over her life to keep it properly structured and organized for her, I also expect her to come to me for companionship, love and caring. When my slave feels she has a problem or something she needs to discuss, I should be the only person she goes to for those issues, not her friends or someone else. I believe all things should go thru me first and if necessary then shared with others with my approval. I also believe that there should be time for playful interaction between us. Being playfully “bratty” is a fun and good thing for us both. It adds a special fun to our relationship and should not be discouraged. It should be part of what makes our relationship fun and something our relationship needs to be successful. My slave has also expressed an interest in “fighting back” and wrestling at times. While I personally don’t have a problem with this type of interaction I think it needs to be approached with safety in mind first and foremost. There are certain physical and emotional issues to be considered during these types of interactions but I also believe that my slave needs to be “conquered” on a semi regular basis to be reminded who holds the power and is "in charge" As a result, I will encourage this type of interaction as well and believe it will strengthen our relationship together unless it proves otherwise over time.

My Thoughts on Emotions in the Master/slave Relationship

I believe that it is the Master’s responsibility to nurture and help a slave to grow emotionally. Like many slaves in the lifestyle, some have PTSD. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and as a result, often have haunting emotions from the past that overcome them  from time to time as well as affect their thought processes and opinions. This becomes fertile ground for a Master to help his slave resolve some of her issues and also provide an environment that is beneficial to her daily life. By very slowly and over time allowing a slave to talk about her emotions and feelings and taking however much time is necessary to allow that to happen, hopefully many of those issues can be resolved to be better for her and many of her PTSD triggers can be disarmed. While no one can change ones history, there are certain things that can be done to make that history be viewed in a somewhat different light and as a result make those historical events resolvable in her mind to the point that they no longer become a major issue in her emotional life. I firmly believe that extended communication between Master and slave and sharing of these emotions becomes a beneficial process to pursue. In my opinion, these things need to be addressed over time and not something that can be accomplished in short order. Each historical event has its own issues and complications that must be talked about at length and then revised to make the resolution better in the slave’s head for that one event. This process should be initiated by the slave as her emotions on a specific topic emerge and they then become open for discussion with the appropriate trust and dependence in place. It is sometimes beneficial for some historical events to be addressed chronologically as well as one may have an effect on the next.  A  Master is responsible to care for and protect his slave and her health. That includes her mental health as well as her physical health. To talk about emotions and bring them out from the darkness can make the relationship better and stronger.

My Thoughts on Financial Control in the Master/slave Relationship

I believe that as I control all facets of the relationship that I also control all financial matters that pertain to it. As money is one of the necessary things for the success of the relationship, it is my responsibility to control how that money is used and appropriated. While the slave may be used to assist in some areas of this process the entire responsibility of financials is the Masters.  Proper planning for the necessary things is, of course, the primary issue here. Food, clothing, shelter, bills, etc. are the primary things that money is spent on of course. Beyond that there are other life’s necessities that need to be considered and appropriated for as well. Beyond those things I believe there should be some money set aside for future necessities and planned vacations, (i.e., savings and investments). Finally, after all else is said and done, then what money is left for a given month should be allocated to desires and recreation/entertainment. While it’s nice to believe that money is free flowing, the fact of the matter is that for every month there is a finite amount and that amount needs to be controlled and looked after.  I also believe that a slave should not be allowed to have direct access to money, or a “private account” that is accessible to her. All moneys of the two should be treated as a pool and are the sole responsibility of the Master. I believe a slave should get approval from her Master for anything and everything, from a tube of lipstick to anything else she would be allowed to purchase by herself without exception. This also has the benefit of relieving the slave of worrying about money issues, such as overspending or wondering about bills and such as well, and frees her to focus on the things that a slave should focus on.  I think that a Master must always be very careful about how money is spent and also practice excellent accountability measures to insure that everything is accurately tracked and a good spending history is available for review. This helps for future planning as well and anticipates unexpected events that may occur. When there is shopping to be done for non-trivial items, I believe that it is the Master’s responsibility to do it himself, or at least supervise and approve that shopping in person as a joint effort, again, controlling all financial aspects of the relationship. A slave should be allowed to ask questions about financial matters that affect the relationship, or suggest / or help plan future expenditures that are beneficial. These things should be budgeted and planned for if necessary and then purchased at the appropriate time. While it may be nice to say “I want to visit Aunt Mary, in St. Louis next month” those things typically require planning and budgeting and may need to be postponed or modified in some economical way. These things are the responsibility of the Master only. Unexpected expenditures such as medical bills or emergencies should be taken into consideration and there should be adequate funds budgeted for those things as well, as they always seem to happen at the most inopportune time. I believe there should also be safeguards put in place where possible such as yearly maintenance contracts for major appliances for example, that help prevent unexpected expense and also save money as well. A yearly maintenance contract can save 100s to 1000s of dollars a year depending on conditions and are a well spent investment. I also believe that accountability/history for money spent is a worthwhile endeavor. I think that all areas of money spent should be tracked and a running history kept for review and budget estimating purposes as well as used to identify places where money was spent that could have perhaps been better appropriated. I believe that budgeting should always be in place and a constant review on how to cut expenditures should be an ongoing effort as the economy and inflation make those things mandatory in today’s world. While this approach may not be feasible or reasonable for everyone, it is my sincere belief that it is a necessary thing to keep the relationship stable and running smoothly with none of, or a minimum of, the typical money squabbles that always seem to poison other types of relationships.

My Thoughts on a Master’s Growth

I believe that it’s a Master’s responsibility to forever learn and grow, both as a Master and a person. He should strive to learn anything and everything available to assist him in making the Master/slave relationship as strong as possible. The Master should also seek and learn new ways to make that relationship grow and prosper for both himself and his slave. While this education and growth applies to the Masterl himself, it also can apply to a Master learning everything about his slave and all the facets she presents. As an example, if a slave contracts or possesses an illness or affliction, it becomes the Master’s responsibility to learn all that he possibly can about that illness or affliction so that he may provide and care for the slave in a manner that’s most appropriate for her condition. He should also seek to enhance the slave's quality of life in all areas, for a slave that is as healthy as she can be, both physically and mentally, becomes a Masters greatest asset in life.

A Master should also continue to learn new facets of lifestyle play and the safety aspect that goes along with those new facets. It’s one of the Master’s prime responsibilities to keep his slave safe during play sessions. The safety of a slave is one of the most fundamental and primary concerns of a Master and time should be devoted to learning safety as well as the new techniques of the lifestyle.

A Master should also continue to grow as a person in all aspects of life. A master that always strives to be the best he can be, at every endeavor he undertakes, is a Master that becomes worthy of being a true Master to his slave. I believe that a Master’s honor is also something that should grow and flourish with time. While it should always be present, it should be enhanced at every opportunity as an honorable Master is one who holds the relationship to its highest standards for he and his slave. As a result the Master is respected not only by his slave, but also others both in and out of the lifestyle.

Finally, I believe that while it is a Master’s responsibility to control his slave in all aspects of life, I believe that a Master must also learn to control himself under every circumstance and under every condition. He, and only he is responsible for controlling his slave, and their relationship. If he can’t learn control himself properly, then he is at a loss to control anything else in his world. 

My Thoughts on Listening to Your Slave

I believe that a Master should learn everything there is to know about his slave in order to better understand her properly and be able to meet her needs better. The only way I’ve found to truly learn about a slave is to talk to them, and have them talk back to you. When a slave does talk, you need to be able to listen to what they have to say as well as have the ability to understand what they mean. It has been my experience that a when you talk to a slave, what she says isn’t always what she means, and as her Master you need to have the knowledge and ability to understand both parts of what’s being said. I’ve known many truly wise and extremely well educated Masters in my life. Seven of them trained me for 3 years before I got my teaching credential at a club I once belonged to, but I have never met one that was a mind reader or who could learn about a slave without good communication and a good exchange of information between them. Getting a slave to freely talk about herself to you becomes another issue however. That can be a long process that in some cases needs to be approached gently and carefully. A slave may have many things that need to be talked about to better understand her, but they may be too difficult for her to talk about or perhaps be blocked out due to trauma or even PTSD. These types of things maybe be the most important things to learn and understand as well, and the slave needs to understand the importance of communicating those things to her Master. It is the Master’s responsibility to learn these things and make them better for his slave and as a result make the relationship between them better.

How this process is accomplished becomes another issue though. While I don’t believe that a Master needs a degree in psychology to accomplish this, I do believe that a Master should have an elementary understanding of the psychological process and know how to use and apply it to the relationship. This education is easy to come by in most public libraries as there are many texts on the subject, and is well within the reach of most all Masters. This in my opinion goes back to a Master becoming educated and applying that education to his relationship to make it better and help it prosper.  

In summary, LISTEN to your slave and everything she has to say, as those things may be the very keys a Master needs to unlock a much better relationship between them.

My Thoughts about Love and Affection in the Master/slave Relationship

First, I believe that a submissive has but two decisions to make when entering into a Master/slave 
relationship. One is the decision to become a slave in total, and the other is to know that 
she loves, or is capable of loving, the Master she is considering. A Master may command and 
force many things upon a slave, but he cannot force her to love him, and he cannot force her 
to willingly become his slave. Those two decisions are the slaves and the slaves alone, and 
are the basis for entering into the relationship.

Second, while love and affection typically go hand and hand they are indeed, 2 different things.
While affection provides the primary motivation for the relationship to exist, love tends to 
be the longer lasting component that develops with time, trust and mutual caring. 

I believe that a quality Master/slave relationship must be based on mutual love and affection 
between the two. Those things provide a positive motivation for the slave to embrace the 
relationship and be devoted to her Master. I also believe that love and affection exist 
as a two-way street. There should be a mutual amount of love and affection exchanged 
between the two for the relationship to be fulfilling and successful. While I know that there 
are some relationships that exist without love and affection, I also believe that those relationships 
that are based on domination and force alone are doomed to failure because there is no motivation for the slave to embrace the relationship except fear, and that is rarely sufficient to sustain the relationship. 

I believe that love and affection are necessary to provide the necessary motivation for a Master and 
slave to exist within a successful relationship. The Master must be motivated to take on the 
responsibility of the slave and guiding the relationship to be successful. In order to 
accomplish this effectively, a Master should have love and affection for his slave and 
provide for her needs. Likewise a slave must be motivated to follow all rules, commands 
and orders given her by her Master to the best of her ability which will contribute to the
well-being of the relationship. In order to accomplish this effectively, she should be 
devoted to her Master and all of his needs and be willing to do whatever is required by the 
Master. I believe however, that devotion can only come from and be motivated by love and 
affection, for without those things true devotion is not possible.  A Master and slave may 
also have ideals they feel they should live up to. Those ideals, in part, contribute to a 
successful Master/slave relationship. Those ideals should also be based on the mutual love, 
affection, devotion and mutual respect that exist in the relationship and should be lived 
through and guided by the Master.

Finally, while I’m sure there are some Master/slave relationships that run on domination 
and force alone, or even one-sided love,  I truly believe that mutual love and affection 
are the keys to a successful and long lasting relationship and they should be nurtured as well.

My Thoughts on Starting Off With a New Slave

I believe that as a Master/slave start a new life and relationship together, that it is important to start the slave’s life from a new starting point as well. This is not to say that a slave’s history should be forgotten altogether, but I do believe that a slave should be put in a position of starting anew and not let past influences and teachings apply. While this may involve re-teaching/learning the obvious in many cases I believe that is a necessary endeavor and a well worthwhile investment in time and effort. I believe that when a slave is completely re-trained to the way you desire things, she becomes a much more viable and valuable slave for you to own. I don’t believe that anything should be taken for granted in this respect either. I think that even the simplest things should be re-taught by the Master and then verified for compliance from that point on. I don’t believe that the phrase “that’s the way I’ve always done it” should be allowed to exist to any degree. This process of re-learning does several things in my mind that are all beneficial to the Master, slave and relationship. First, it opens up a new life’s book for the slave. She no longer has to look to the past for answers or instincts. Often times the process of looking backward can be an unpleasant or painful thing to a slave and that can be undesirable or perhaps even destructive to the slave and also to the relationship. Second, it ensures that the slave is trained the way the Master desires things to be done, which is another very important aspect of the relationship. This also prevents misunderstandings, poor performance and the resulting punishments. After the slave is properly trained, it can be reasonably expected that the slave will perform at or above expectations which is a desirable situation for not only the Master and slave but for the relationship as well. I believe that this “starting new” philosophy is a far better choice than trying to correct or modify bad behavior, instincts, habits and processes that a slave might bring forward from previous teachings or experiences.

My Thoughts on a Slave Making Decisions

I believe that a slave will need to make some very serious decisions during the course of her life and also some that are not as serious. Many though, may have long lasting effects or consequences and should be made wisely. One of the biggest decisions a slave will make is the decision to become a slave. This must come from an introspective look from within and must be self analyzed. This decision comes from the realization that her submissive personality is something that ranks as the most important thing in her life and that she is willing to make that commitment to a Master and enter into a Master/slave relationship. This most important decision however must be made alone and should be the last decision a slave must make by herself. While there are other decisions that will be made over time, the one decision to become a slave ranks supreme in all things that affect the slave from that point forward. There are also other serious decisions that the slave will have to make during her lifetime. Getting married, having children, raising a family, choosing a career path and many more. These by nature are not decisions that a Master can make for his slave alone. While he can influence these decisions to a greater or lesser extent, these are decisions that the slave must ultimately make for herself and her life. I believe it is the Master’s responsibility to guide his slave when she is faced with making those types of decisions though. Also, that those decisions need to be discussed at length and be approved by the Master before a final decision of that magnitude is made, as decisions such as those affect the relationship which is the Master’s responsibility to oversee.

As far as day to day decisions go, I believe that a slave should not be allowed to make decisions, and that all of those types of decisions are the property of the Master and that they are his to make alone.  This relieves the slave from having to make decisions, and allows her to focus on the tasks and commands she is given. This also relieves the slave from worrying about the decision making process and whether she’s making the right or wrong decision for any given circumstance. As a slave’s submissive personality often tends to be one of thinking about and serving her Master, she should be free to do this in the most effective way possible. That way is defined by the Master, through tasks, commands, and decision making and as such allows the slave to accomplish her goals effectively and as a result feel satisfied and accomplished in her daily life.

This is not to say that a slave should be treated as or become mindless, for a mindless slave is not of worth to her Master. The more training, knowledge and responsibility a slave is given the more she becomes an asset to her Master. It is the Masters responsibility however, to properly train and educate his slave so she may serve him in the best possible manner, which becomes beneficial to himself, the slave and the relationship as a whole.

My thoughts on Planning a Roadmap for the Future

I believe that it is very important to have a “roadmap” to follow to guide the Master/slave relationship in the proper direction. I believe that this can only be effectively accomplished by proper planning in both the short term and long term efforts. While it is understood that no one can foresee the future, there should be enough proper planning in place to assure that as many possibilities are taken into consideration as possible.  I often equate this planning process as a “roadmap”, because as a real roadmap may have more than one route to plan a trip so do the goals and objectives of the Master/slave relationship.

As an example, while planning a trip from point A to point B it may be desired to get to point B via the fastest route. This may not necessarily be the best of planning however.  While it may take a little longer to get to point B via a slightly slower route it may be found that it’s better to take a slightly slower route that may be a safer alternative. After all, it’s better to arrive at point B safely than it is to have problems along the way via the fastest route. There is also the possibility along the way of an accident occurring that is out of one’s control, hence the need for a “plan B” to arrive at a destination safely.

Just as one might listen to traffic reports during a trip to keep abreast of current conditions, I believe that a Master should also listen to his slave to keep abreast of current situations that might affect the relationship or its objectives. The more information a Master can get to help in the planning process the more effective he can be for the future of the relationship and his slave.

Finally, while there is no set course to life and relationships, I believe that a Master should always have a good roadmap to guide the relationship. I also believe that  proper planning can go a long way to helping the Master/slave relationship meet its goals and objectives, and to my knowledge no one has ever come up with a GPS to accomplish this.

Punishment and Discipline In The Master/Slave Relationship

I have been asked to write a blog on my philosophies of punishment and discipline within the Master/slave relationship.  I have intentionally avoided these subjects to date, because they are subjects that are very wide ranging and individualistic in nature. They are also difficult to describe because they tend to vary for the same situation but change due to circumstance and conditions. I will however make a generalized stab at this for those that requested it.

For the sake of definition purposes, I believe that Punishment and Discipline are very different from each other, and neither should be used for generalized play at any time. In my opinion the both are meant to have a corrective purpose and should not be used for any other reason. In my opinion, there are many ways and reasons to play and using punishment or discipline as a vehicle for play tends to make them lose their effectiveness as correctional instruments. I also believe that there are two types of both punishment and discipline, and they are mental and physical and each has its place in the relationship.

In regards to punishment, I tend to use punishment only for severe infractions that I believe are serious enough to physically or emotionally endanger, each other, the house or the relationship. The punishment chosen is of my choice only and applied towards the corrective actions.  It could range from removal of privileges to significant physical punishment, but is always something that the slave does/would not like in any form. If, for example, my slave is a masochist that may have emotional masochistic tendencies I am of the opinion that physical punishment is less effective for her than mental punishment.  If my slave possesses a great desire to please and if it’s made clear that she has not pleased me in some way, it would impose a significant punishment for her, much more so than a physical flogging or whipping for example which she might actually enjoy.

In regards to discipline, I view discipline as a tool for the correction of less severe infractions, or intentionally poor performance of tasks. Discipline in these cases is consistently and evenly applied and supplemented with proper motivation and instruction. In my opinion, it does no good to provide discipline without also providing the motivation and instruction to correct the problem at hand. The idea behind this of course is behavior modification for the longer haul not just immediate correction.  I also use discipline as a learning tool. By performing repetitive actions during training over time, it serves to instill proper behavior in the slave for the longer term goals which is what I strive to accomplish.

In all, I always have and always will try to teach and train without punishment and use discipline as sparingly as possible. There are, of course, times when either or both are called for at some level or another, but I like to believe that proper motivation, training and education is a much better way to good behavior than discipline or punishment  would ever be.

The Two Parts Of A Master/slave Relationship

In my opinion there are two parts to a Master/slave relationship. Often I’m told that most everyone views it as only one, but I disagree with that viewpoint.  I believe that the two parts consist of A. Living together and doing the normal things that life requires and in some cases demands.  B. Erotic Play. When explained that way most people say, “well yeah, of course”, but I believe they are two totally separate entities and should be treated as such for the Master/slave relationship to be successful.

To talk about Erotic Play first, is the simplest.  It includes everything that the Master and slave do in the way of lifestyle play without exception. That covers a lot of territory for many people but in reality, that’s just not all there is to the Master/slave relationship. While it may be an important part to some, for the total relationship to be successful, I believe it to be the lesser of the two aspects.

Living together as Master and slave represents the greatest part of the relationship and, in my opinion should be viewed with the attention that this aspect of the relationship deserves as it’s the most important to the relationship being successful. Living together is something that Master and slave do every day of their relationship and it is there that the primary focus belongs.  How the Master and slave interact together, what’s expected of each other and how that all comes together requires the utmost planning care and cooperation between the two. It is the Master’s responsibility to ensure that the day to day life is running properly and without problems to the greatest extent possible. While this takes a lot of thought and planning I believe that it’s the most important aspect of that relationship. The slave also has an important role in this as well. It s the slaves responsibility to perform those things that are expected and assigned to her to the best of her ability, to interact with the Master and to communicate all necessary things to make sure that the day to day things get accomplished properly.  When all of this comes together and functions in an appropriate manner the Master/slave relationship has a much better chance of being successful, and that of course, I believe is the primary goal.

Regardless of the couple, there are always times when there is disagreement about one thing or another, whether expressed or not. These things need to be discussed and dealt with in an appropriate manner before they can affect the relationship. While it is the Master’s responsibility to deal with issues it is also the slave’s responsibility to follow the Masters desires in dealing with those issues.

Living together covers a lot of territory, and in fact much more than one would imagine. From the smallest act to the largest catastrophe that might affect the relationship, it all has to be “dealt with” effectively on an ongoing basis day to day by both Master and slave together. It all requires good planning, communication and even foresight to do this, but I feel it’s something that is a whole lot more important than what color flogger should be used today.

Yes.  Erotic play is an important part of the Master slave relationship, but in my opinion Living together successfully is much more important than any other aspect of it all.

Some Words About Obedience Semantics

While many Masters dwell on obedience and that the slave should do this or that simply because she was supposed to or told to is one thing and one way to look at it for some.  I personally don’t believe in that philosophy, and it’s not how I believe it should be viewed. Do I want a slave to obey? Yes, of course. That’s what being a slave is all about. What I don’t want, is a slave to obey simply because I told her to do so unless there is no other option however. I want her to obey because of the desire within her to please me. It’s not doing what I say simply because I say it, I want her to obey because she wants to do whatever it is for me. In my opinion, it’s not about obedience strictly for the sake of obedience, it’s about obedience out of desire, love and respect, and that obedience becomes a positive for the Master/slave relationship. While obedience is a must by any account, it is much better to achieve that obedience out of love and respect than to achieve it out of any other method.

My Thoughts on Sex and the Master/slave relationship.

While I believe that sex (intercourse) is a necessary thing in life for most people, I don’t believe that it is the “cement” that binds the Master and slave together. Those things in my mind are love, respect and devotion between the two. I hear time and time again, from person after person, that sex is what the lifestyle is about. I disagree!!  I believe that the lifestyle is an enhancement to an affectionate relationship between two people.  The Master/slave relationship is included in that, but it’s not based on sex alone, if at all.  Sexual play is, of course, part of the lifestyle and what I consider erotic play as I’ve discussed previously, but once again, I believe that it is not the mainstay of the relationship. The mainstay of the Master/slave relationship, in my opinion, is two people living together in an affectionate relationship of caring, love, devotion, respect and trust. That is what makes the Master/slave relationship grow between the two, which is the primary goal, and that has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Some words about social networking and internet use.

In our modern world social networking has become the norm for most people. It is a way to communicate with friends and family, and also to gather information in general, not to mention other forms of internet entertainment. In reality, many lifestyle relationships, both real and “online” have started on the internet from dating sites and have been very successful. With the advent of the “smart” phone we all carry the power of the internet around in our pockets these days. For better or worse, it has become part of our daily lives. It does however pose a problem for the Master and also the Master/slave relationship. It is impractical for the Master to watch over every single thing that the slave does while online, but in my mind there has to be some control as well. The question becomes how does a Master control the content of what the slave has access to. Does a Master allocate specific times for social networking as a privilege, or does he control access in some other way.  After a lot of thought about this problem, I have come to the conclusion that it’s an impractical, if not impossible task. This all boils down to trust. The Master must trust his slave enough that she will act and behave properly when on the internet, just as she behaves properly in person. It is also part of the slave’s responsibility to recognize this trust exists and not abuse that trust or the privilege granted by her Master. A slave’s actions on the internet must reflect her actions in person, and if they don’t, it creates a significant problem for the Master/slave relationship in general. In my opinion, social networking and the internet in general is a double edged sword that is full of temptation just as life is and it must be approached in the same manner with trust and proper behavior being the key to success. It is a problem that we all have to come to terms with on a daily basis for better or for worse. 

Some Words About A slave’s Choices

I often read different profiles for slaves and wonder “what are they thinking”. I read about those listed as slaves that must have this or that, but don’t want other things. In my opinion, that’s not what a being a slave is all about. While I do agree with a slave having desires and making those desires known to a Master, I don’t agree with the “if it can’t be this way then it’s nothing at all” approach.  Every slave has a right to choose to be a slave, but once that choice is made, then what happens after is the Master’s decision and not the slaves.  Any other formulation of if not this then not that or I don’t play is totally out of the question. If that’s a slave’s mental state then she may be a submissive but certainly not a slave in my opinion.  While I encourage, and actually require a slave to share her desires and kinks with me, and I will normally do my best as a good Master to fulfill those desires when I deem it appropriate, for the slave to pick and choose on her own is not slavery in any sense of the word.  It may be submissive but it’s certainly not slavery in my opinion.